Monthly Archives: September 2012

Oh.. now you too good to suck a D*@k cuz you got natural hair?

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Cut that sister soulja shit the fuck… out …
Who you tryin to game?

Yo if its one thing i cant stand, its these fake mother earth, incent burning, sizzla kalonji whores who act like they dont be gettin down wit the get down.

Ahhh but you know wassup, we kept the fileee…
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#Stopitfive

Why some ladies feel like since they rockin the macy gray they can just switch their whole aura like you not bout that life and got 2 baby daddies as a result?(3 in the case of miss Erykah Badu, but yall dont hear me tho)

Now Im all for knowledge of self and all that good shit but u not gon sit there n front like ya shit dont stink. Infact, most of ya be gettin it in worse then some of these beweaveable chicks yall hate so much.

Word, how you invite me over.
Im all hype, got a fresh cut and fresh fit from Citi trends.
We chillin on the couch.
Im tryna do my thug thizzle and all you wanna do is watch these ‘My black is beautiful documentaries’ ? Fuck is this bullshit doe?
And Theres only so long i can sit through these damn reggae songs praising some dude name JAH before i get IGNANT!! (and im still not sure who he is)

Soo you trying to tell me to unlock the passage way to your freak, i gotta dress like Andre 3 stacks, become a vegan,purify myself in the waters of lake Minnetonka? Then after i shower, rub down in that stingy ass peppermint oil when i jus seen you on worldstar bussin it open?

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BITCH YOU WASNT EVEN LABELED A WORLDSTAR HUNNY THO. YOU HAD “AUDITION” and “ASSURANCE PHONE SUBMITTED” UNDER THE TITLE!!!!!

OOOOOOOO YA MAKE ME SICK!!

Good brothers be getting caught all up in the facade thinkin they got themselves a Black Queen, Goddess of all things green, meanwhile shorty made her name in dem staircases! And all it took was a 4piece nugget meal, with no dipping sauce. Bruh.. no sauce!! That alone shows you she dont give one fuck.

Now Let the church say Amen!
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Amen!
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Mannnn sit your punk ass down! Yall light bright dudes reason why these girls think they can get over. But ill save that for another post lol.

Yo duke, Imma need you to grow some facial hair

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Fuck is up dun?
Cuz ya be lookin real suspicious fam. Bunch of Diggy Simmons, WHO’S HOUSEEEE!? RUNS HOUSEEEEE!! lookin muthafuckas.

So….walkin round with the Smokey Robinson/Babyface Edmunds look is whats poppin in the street? You out here with the prior military face and all you ever served for this county was coffee.

If you gotta clean face, then i prolly wont trust ya( fab voice)

Matter fact, how many arrest have you made cuz im sure you workin with them PEOPLE. Got me feelin like i gotta talk in code when you around. Walkin round smiling all the time , lookin like a law abidding citizen, ole safe negro lookin ass nigga. You trying to gain acceptance huh? Nigga you fitting in every rape profile in America. Theres a reason you keep gettin stared at.

You out chea lookin like the Geico lizard,but we not spose to crack jokes?Naa dun. its Man law bruh, and you lookin real unfamiliar.

I remember when i was hurting for cash( still am tho), no job and out of high school and and applied for a job at mcdonalds, said fuck it. they always hiring. So i get there, fill out the application, and as i go up to the manager to hand it in, funky bitch gon tell me i need to SHAVE MY BEARD AND ROCK THE HITLER STACHE!!

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HAAAA!

Said fuck that shit.

Even back then i knew what being a REAL NIGGA was about and i wasnt bout to compromise it for no 6.50 an hr. Ooh, so I gotta walk round wit the perv face making 150 a week , smellin like fries and obesity? You can suck my whoooole dick. I know damn well i dont gotta rock the African struggle Face just to get a job in a America.

Now for the 10 percent of the world that got them Skip Bayless Genes where u better not never grow facial hair, yall excluded from this rant. It just never worked out for ya, n i get that, Play on playa.

But….

For the rest of yall salamander face, creepy and old , but young lookin muthafuckas , ya need to dead that.

You a Big man, Fuck you shooting 3s fo!!?

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I….CANT…..STAND…THIS MUTHAFUCKA…

Striaght up , like a dark cloud forms over the basketball court when he arrives. Big men, with the skinny guard mentality ..THATS THE SHIT I DONT FUCKIN LIKE…..AT ALL!!

  Bruh Bruh ,  i kno we all grew up wanting to be Allen Iverson and shit but what about being the George Muresan of this shit? I kno, i kno…in middle school you ran the point and all of a sudden junior high hit and you had a growth spurt of 4 feet. But dude, you gotta fuckin adjust your game accordingly( why you lookin at me like that?, o lemme guess,im buggin right?)

Why you gotta try and Do EVERYTHING on the court? You the tallest nigga here,Why must you live your, it coulda been , if i didnt break my leg playin jenga when the blocks fell n tripped on my way to the bathroom, dreams on the same court im on right now?

Dude… So you jus gon grab the rebound and try to go coast to coast in ya sloppy foot size 17 Al Harrington’s huh?

Im standing open at the key…no one guarding me!! You……jus gonna take it up on 4 muthafuckas huh?…oo naaa its coo you got fouled. I kno..you would be at the line right now , i understand …..the PSAL league you play in OK’s this behavior…silly me.

Ooo and then, this muthafucka can critique EVERY MUTHAFUCKAS GAME ON THE COURT but when it comes to him , we spose to jus let him do him? Fuck kinda rules of life is this Stretch Armstrong ass nigga on?

Think you cool cuz you rockin a YMCA league jersey from 2008 huh? Nike shorts with the socks rolled up to the knees and got the gusto to rock some damn compression shorts like we in a game 7 of the NBA FINALS . But what the fuck you protecting yourself from bruh? One nigga playin in jeans and another nigga dribbling the ball with a baby arm ( crossed the shit outta me tho smh). This aint exactly a stacked 10 players on the court and you just gotta show out huh ? ……scust.

So then as im wondering whats on this dudes bisquit, i look on the bench and Ohhhhh it all makes sense. His Asian Girlfriend is there and he tryin to show out smh….i hate this guy. I hate him more then the bum ass white dude with the ill jump shot, the guy who calls foul every COT DAYUM PLAY, and the sweaty muthafucka who decides to play with no shirt( tho this nigga is a close fuckin second and possibly numero uno if im guarding him smh).

Hope i dont run into this nigga today…..

Old nigga in the club, is too damn old to be there.

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Now before i get started, let me say this. I believe your allowed to party til you drop (or in old ass club nigga case, catch a hernia). But its all about knowing the suitable environment for such fuckery to go down. Ya old niggas got ya events, sure ..ya get the wack days like Sunday night and Wednesday afternoon but honestly, u should be happy with what your chopper suit wearing ass gets!

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                            Bruh..

  Now a GQ nigga like myself draped in the finest of Cloth made by my good friend Karl Kani DOES NOT WANNA BE IN SOME $40 AT THE DOOR CLUB NEXT TO SOME NIGGA SMELLING LIKE TIGERBALM AND STEEL RESERVE BRUH.!!!

  Seriously, like who allowed for this to happen?

How can i enjoy my night when your grossing out every pretty young thang around me?( fyi, they laughing at you, not with you bruh bruh.. and that spin move …scust)

  I mean ..i get it, ladies of today( especially in NYC) are just of a different breed in terms of looks and your old ass aint too fond of your Weezy Jefferson lookin broad at home. I get it but dawgs, you gon have to approach your desires in a different way. Its not a good look.

  You cant be up in a club where the average age is 24, trying to show out with your old Good Times/227 moves . I mean, sure they might of worked during the days of when Malcom X was a street Hustler named Red,and the Blaxploitation Era, but how the fuck you expect to keep up with the swag surfs of the world?( dont even answer that, i care for your safety, im your conscience)

Smh you in the club bustin out soul train, background singer, temptation style moves and got the nerve to be rockin a fade. Its….not…gon…WORK!

  AND MY NIGGA!! FUCK YOU KEEP TAPPIN ME FOR, IM NOT YOUR FRIEND, NIGGA I DONT EVEN KNO YOU!!

dude, why you tryin to converse over the melodic sounds of Rick Ross? Talkin some, boy!! These young girls just dont know!! Boy ill tell ya!!

  Its bad enough you lookin like Leon from the five Heartbeats and now you tryin to shoot the shit? Naaaa mayne. I already get shit for lookin older then i am and YOU tryin to just throw the nail in the coffin huh cuh? Hoes talkin bout, look at THESE old niggas smh. Fuckin up my swag, these hoes gotta GET THIS WORK! ( Loaded lux voice)

  You out here jus blowing your Social Security check on ass you not even getting. Your style is off, your slang is outdated, you need to sit your old ass down and do some crossword puzzles.
 

Lupe dreads aint Loopy…

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  Ayo, fuck wrong with this nigga cuh?
Seriously….

  Who allowed this nigga to do this? This a prime example why some niggas really need major label support bruh. Lupe is the definition of smart, dumb nigga. Smart as shit on them records, dumb as shit for them braids.  Who told this nigga to audition for Cool Runnings, the sequel?

Now see, i love lupe like the next 15 year old white nigga, who impersonates black people on a hip hop message board and claims to know real hiphop but SON….THE DREADS COT TA GO!

  You out here lookin real Larry Holmes-ish, who inspired this look? Tracy Chapman?…If i was you i would personally put the hands of GOD on all them Yes men you keep around.

  Dawgs…then you got the nerve to put out some inspirational,thought provoking records?….reallly? So im jus spose to act like your word is good when you makin moves out here lookin like a M.I YAYO ,DADE COUNTY DIKE?

YO.. you dont even have dread head swag tho. You literally look like you went to Bargain Bazaar , bought ( well knowing how your records move, prolly stole ..but anyway) a mop, told the lil spongebob built Ecuadorian lady at the counter she can keep the stick , went home , dyed the shit black, had some hoodrat thread it into a lace front and WALA..

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Son …..and now you beefin with CHIEF KEITH? REALLY ?….dude them braids gotta mind of its own, and im tryin look out for your well being man . Havent you learned anything from  past failures such as:

GENUWINE:
SMFH this niggas hangtime didnt even reach the end of his neck line, and it was rumored he used pubic hair cuz he damn sure popped outta NOWHERE with them nasty shits.

50 CENT:
Smh this..nigga…here. he sorta gets a pass cuz it was for a movie role, but at the same time he dont cuz only about 3 people seen the movie and it was whoever is left on the G-unit roster.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE:
Man this nigga was lost for a minute when Nsync broke up and tried WAYYY TO HARD to be accepted by Black America. We eventually accepted him but it was after he cut that atrocity off his head.( He later lost us when he bailed on Janet Jackson with NippleGate)

BOTTOM LINE LUPE,HOMIE PUT DOWN THE TING, STOP EATING THEM HOT ASS MINATURE SHRIMP IN THEM WEED BAGGYS …… AND CUT IT OUT!!!!

Whats your A/S/L Ma?

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Oooooooo REMEMBER THAT SHIT!!?

Ah man the good ole days when you was 13 frontin like you was 15 thinking it would get you an advantage on some pussy you couldnt even locate if ya life depended on it. While simulataneously minimizing the screen when moms came through looking with her looking ass( what excuse did you say? Lol, mines was downloading music)
 
  Ahh man bruh bruhs i was on my dean back in those days, my life consisted of Robin Bird( act like you dont know the theme song) , AOL chat and chocolate milk.

Ya feel me ? Or DO YA FEEL ME?

  Mannn look, nothing could beat waiting for that bitch ass yellow nigga to run across my screen to let me know my slow ass 56k modem speed computer finally loaded  onto AOL.
See AOL was pretty GOAT at the time and EVERYBODY was intuned with the movement.Niggaaa, ACT LIKE  it didnt feel like  CHRISTMAS when you came up on a free trial AOL cd!

  See i would always go into the teen rooms and I BELIEVE black voices if im not mistaken on aol and would have a field day talkin to the various girls i all presumed were dimes.( lets face it we believed anything them hoes were sayin at the time,later on the invention of the cameraphone fucked my life up tho)
Man my swag was thru the roof when i stepped into the room. You got the shoutout that you entered, and i would be quick to post up some:

Ladies wassup, im the one u wanna holla at , 16/m/nyc .

Or some corny variation of that( different ages with different moods, real pimp shit). But Oooooo bitches would be quick to holla at the nyc niggas and i would love it. So i would be quick on the A/S/L question and would get dumb hype when shorty would show the slightest intrest.

The game was to get the most girls in those one on one private box messengers, try to get a good description of her, some small talk and theeeeeeen GET SOME CYBER SEX!! HAHAHAHA.

  Oooo u gon sit there and not acknowledge the game? Sooo i was the ONLY nigga at 13 hype as fuck when a bitch started mashing her keys like: 
  ahshfjisiwhdhhxbdhsa im cumming! I cant control what i type?

Mannnn act like im not takin yall down memory lane! Haha.

  Good times, good times… But you know, knowing what i know now i can only imagine the type of chris hanson niggas who were on them chats hard body fronting like they was females.( hate to burst your bubble BUT im pretty sure one of them no scanner for pics, afraid to get on the mic bitches was actually an old don vito white dude)

  All and all i had soo much fun and hours dedicated to the chatrooms and the filth that went on in em, from the rude nigga who blow everybodys shit when he took over the voice option to play his wack ass music, the funny debates, the cyber thuggin, cracks on ugly chicks etc. It was a day of age that lookin back compared to today,  WAS actually very innocent fun( unless u was that dumb bitch who decided to go to some strange nigga house, never to be heard of again)

  I possibly frequented all the poppin chats at the time. My top ones were:
1.  Yahoo( they fucked the game up with the voice option! But my broke ass didnt have a mic tho smh)
2. AOL( the originators, nuff said)
3. Teen chat, but i think it had got shut down for some reason.

(Am i forgetting any big ones or any stories you would like to share? Send a comment)