Monthly Archives: March 2013

Dykes dont dap well

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Word tho…

Why when they see a physically imposing thug ass nigga such as myself, they feel the need to rep their imaginary Y chromosomes?

And you always know some over-compensating is about to occur as soon as she walks up to you with that  “thug nigga” bebop and pants hangin off their ass (tho i dont know if theres anything really wrong with the latter..i mean hey, i still have a penis)

You go to say waddup, maybe even a head nod (cuz you cant trust niggas hands these days) and she greet you like she slangin wood and takin no names. I mean no disrespect, but y u no jus be regular?
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Why u gotta dap me up all Marlon Wayans-ing a brother and shit?
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Those past curfew, drunk off 4loko and blast colt 45’s, tryin to sneak back into your group home handshakes is not whats poppin in these streets cousin,Its not appreciated.

I wish a nigga WOULD get mad at me cuz i didnt wish em a happy birthday over facebook.

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FUCK…..THAT…..SHIT

Hell,You probably wont even remember whether I said anything while you syphon thru the hundreds of “HBD’s” half ass reading them. Nothing grinds my gears more than somebody jus “liking” my post like im a fan or someshit. Yo dun, say THANK YOU, fuck nigga.

Aye, you know when its crunch time to decide if your gonna  send that HBD post?

When they post that lil faggy ” Oh praise be, i feel so appreciated and loved, thanks for all the HBD’s”. Thats when i start going into the memory roledex to see if this person is  REALLY worth the time it takes to press 3 letters and enter and if your REALLY SPECIAL I might just spell the words out. I mean theres always some better shit to do in my mind, like snooping thru single mothers pages slinging judgemental thoughts all over that muthafucka.

I mean really, whats the difference between me not sending a post and somebody else that does? What…..you gon run down on me in the skreets and question why i didnt send you HBD love? You fuckin self-centered smuck.

Its bad enough i gotta be reminded its your birthday everytime i check my newsfeed, makin up reasons for not clicking your name, feeling like an asshole but ehh….the feeling is quick. I mean its really nothing against you, if i seen you in person I’d buy you a drink and share some laughs. But the emotional disconnect of the internet has made me this way.

I dont know if it says more about me or just the culture we live in today of social disensitization. Cuz i know some of yall reading this think along the same lines im thinking so dont try to act all siddity like its just me. Bitch.

J.R ……bruh

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Dun…..

WHAT THE FUCK IS YO PROLEM CUH?

WHO…THE..FUCK..TOLD…YOU..TO RAP

Point that nigga THE FUCK OUT…RIGHT NOW.

Bruh I can honestly say theres an NBA player worst then Kobe bean head Bryant at rappin and that there is New York Knicks guard J.R ‘I can pass but rather shoot this fadeway three with defenders draped over me’ Smith.

Nigga…

Id rather listen to Tony Parker with his myplayer backwards baseball hat rap a whole album in french than listen to this…A WHOLE FUCKIN ALBUM!
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Its bad enough you look like Bruh-man from the fifth flo, You then got the nerve to rap like how u ball, sporadic as fuck. I cant tell if you trying to rap, sing, do spoken word or just doing all 3 at the same damn time. Then u wanna do it all in a whiney ass voice, like you was using the T-pain iphone app to record ya vocals. You striaght gregory hines-in on the track bruh and i dont appreciate it
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TURN THAT UP!- Said nobody

Me saying this is horrible doesnt do it enough justice. Homie…how you let Tahiry make a better song than you? And we all know outside of looking good, her talent is non-existant. You outchea making halal cart music.

This pretty much confirms that your a base head, ole slow speech pattern ass. How u made time to diss former head coach in Denver, George karl? After all that man been thru, you gon get ya taylor swift on and mention him in that wack ass song?

If only the time you spent emphasizing on the word practiceeeeeeee, was spent on improving your musical ability you could of MAYBE made a DECENT record.

Im tired of ya ball players disrespecting the rap game like this. I get it ..i get it..Rappers wanna be athletes and athletes wanna be yadda yadda yadda.. but ya niggas MUST KNOW that just cuz your a walking triple double on the court doesnt means it will translate to the mic.
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IT JUS DOESNT!!

Are you a black girl?…well im sure you have an iron burn scar

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Am i lying?

Naaaa i aint lyin….

You know damn well comin up in the game as a young iron slanga you caught a couple licks cuz your favorite 504 boys song came on and you jus had to twerk sum in the mirror, forgotting that your actual ironboard was the couch with a sheet over it.
Wobble wobble wobble SIZZZZZZZZZZZZLE!
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Now see, Iron burn girl is similiar to hoodrat belt girl because for the most part you were probably doing some hoodrat shit in the first place that caused the burn. Both endured the same hardships of life, lived in not so desirable places, and rocked paco jeans with them GAWD AWFUL L.E.D word display belts. But where Iron burn girl differs from hoodrat belt girl is that she more than likely went to church( Which increased chances of getting burned 65%) and SHE HAD A DESIRE TO ACHIEVE AND NOT FALL VICTIM TO THE CYCLE!
Plus we all know hoodrats dont iron clothes.
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She learned a valuble life lesson when that burn occured (besides the benefits of cocoa butter) and it helped her to face adversity as every time she looked at the burn she realized just how far she had come and how far she was heading. No longer was she an ashy ring around the mouth yout, but now a women wit purpose (Yes, a nursing assistant).

These burns were a right of passage, a signature if you will, that you cared about how the world percieved you. You actually gave some fuck. For that i salute yall, embrace yall burn marks no matter how big or small!
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Bruh.. social media f*kin up my clothing swag forreal

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Real nigga shit bruh….
I cant go out nowadays without being all paranoid about having some new shit on to uphold my ever so present online celebrity Ive maintained since sconex, localhookupz and Migente (Had to front like i was Dominican tho jajaja) .

Lord knows i wanna rock my fly ass route 66 shirt but i already have it time stamped on facebook two years ago getting shit faced, in a janky houseparty which wasnt worthy of my shirt or my presence.

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Im sayin tho..I dead gotta run into marshalls last minute for a U.S.P.A 2 men, 1 horse brokeback mountain polo jus so i can attend this weak ass event with some new shit on to match dresscode? Mannn the game is gettin hard on my pockets forreal.

See….im a young thug nigga, never really cared much for the latest and greatest shit out and what styles are coinciding with the seasons so when i get invited out to spots I would jus rotate a combination of 3 sneakers and a couple of shirts and get by in new crowds and no worries.

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Once they introduced cameras to phones its been a struggle. Now i gotta wake up to the realization that im really NOT the swaggiest nigga in the world and my pictures are becoming redundant as fuck. You start having psychological break downs about what other facebook profiles are saying about you to their friends like:

“Gawd, he STAY with a white T-shirt on everywhere”
“How many times he gon wear those pants?”
“You outchea with a gas station fitted hat?”
“Didn’t he wear that same outfit last week?”
“I bet he sweats a lot”
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Hfirirkxkckdldkxkeieisiskdkxkxuugggggggh
So now i gotta reneg on invites due to whats in my closet?(ok, it’s actually a chair in the corner of my room but thats beside the point) Nigga gotta go out in stealth to assure my lack of clothes will go unnoticed. Untagging photos like a mufucka.

Sure, you’re saying “Hey simple solution, buy more clothes”
My response to that “Hey simple solution, SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

Hell, half ya muthafuckas getting fresh while spending EBT like its going outta style. Got your lil brother bed sheets as window curtains while you rocking the newest Jays.
Fuck alllat, Niggas got bills B( …and a slight coke addiction)