Monthly Archives: May 2013

The moment you break up wit your girl and THEN thats when your friends tell you how they really felt about her…

“Ohh you broke up with shorty? Good,she was a needy bitch anyway..”.

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Yall muthafuckas maan……

Sooo ya just gon tell me how ya realllly feel now huh? Thats yall way of giving advice? Punk ass niggas…

“Na its just.. you seemed happy and didnt wanna tell u she wasnt all that, it wasnt our place”

Nigga…you done asked me if she had friends when i brought her around tho?

” Yeaaa, but we actually wanted you to realize she didnt have no friends to bring over and that was a sign something wasnt right. Plus one day she gave me the “You can hit it, face” but I didnt know if I was buggin so i kept it to myself”

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FUCK YOU MEAN!???
SO YOU WAIT TIL NOW TO TELL ME!??

Im outchea walkin round with some undercover hussy and yall aint let me know!!?

“Na you just seemed in good spirits bro, You know its been since like 99, you had a girl. You was outchere eating finally. I use to think you was gay”

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“Naa not in the, damn this nigga gay forreal way, but in the damn he aint gettin no pussy….AT ALL? He might like peen and not know it way.”

Bruh…..

“I kno my nigga.. myyy bad. But im just glad yall over with cuz she used to smell alil musty too”

………….JUS….STOP.
…….I GET IT

“Word, fuck her…you trying to get cut up in some 2k?”

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OMG! These front row seats look so amazing through my 3 inch cellphone screen!

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Its official B,
We fuckin live in the Matrix bruhs and bruhzettes.

You know, It REALLLLY grinds my gears that we no longer ENJOY life. Build with me for a bit cuz shit bout to get real…..

Camera phones have become a cancer to society as a whole and with each technological advance we make, it dumbs us down that much more.

I mean nothing signifies this more to me than pulling out a damn camera phone at a small venue concert (Such as BB Kings in New York City) to record a bunch of shakey hand 2:23 minute videos to upload it to youtube for 26 views.

Bruh…Ever heard of living in the moment? You know…actually wave your hands in the air, and wave em like you just dont care? Well how the fuck you gon do that while holding a damn IPAD???

Lets use logic for a minute…
Say you go to a well known artist’s concert or show.
You paid a pretty penny for the ticket, fresh outfit, bottle to sip with your boys before you head out etc. You should be looking to get your money worth.

Off bat( What does that even mean by the way?..Shrugs) YOU KNOW cameras will be in abundance and more than likely will have house video shooters on deck (Exclusive video shot for the event with great quality). If there is anything suprisingly shocking that occurs it will be on worldstar, so really what the fuck you holding that camera up the whole damn show for?

Dun..ima tell you now, nobody is really that intrested in watching your drake hand shot video while the crowd drowns out everything remotely good. Put your camera away and ENJOY the show!! All this exciting shit going on around you and you wanna view it through alil ass box, essentially just making the environment you’re in, one kick-ass surround sound system.

But thats the thing, we dont know how to enjoy shit anymore.

There use to be a time when you can jus reminisce over shit, fabricate certain instances that enhance that emotion you had at that moment. Argue with your boy about how drunk he got and how funny it was, just enjoying time as it was….TIME. (Not a video sent across the globe of you shit faced and completely embarrassing yourself)

People…
We’re living off borrowed time, and losing what it is to enjoy that time is basically a life wasted. We rely so heavily on the visual aid that our attention spans have gon to shit. We settle for flavors of the month while we develop forms of A.D.H.D and dont even know it!!

I once questioned how can you develop an imagination when everything you once wondered about is now on reality Telivision? Didnt get an anwer and essentially we are helping fuel our own demise with our obsession with youtubing “moments”.

I have heard from numerous artist that have said they hate how shows need to be altered, songs re-arranged, changing guest etc just because youtube broken that veil of secrecy and surprise.

Its been most prevalent in the comedic world as you can literally destroy a comics whole set (Which may have took a year to polish) with a few youtube clips exposing the jokes. How can you laugh hard at something you’ve already seen coming?

PUT THE FUCKING CAMERAS AWAY! ENJOY THE SHOW!!

I know im ranting and raving a bit much and this is just scratching the surface. Putting thoughts to my keyboard as I usually do and probably wont all get read but honestly its something that I needed to get off my chest.

It’s like we’re all in the race to have the exclusive but lose who we are in the process. I call it the “Disc Jockey” syndrome. Maybe ill dig into that later…im out!
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B*tch you ain’t ehem tryna let a nigga kno???

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OK, ok let me lay down sumn ri quick smh

you ever be chillen in ya crib doin ya own thing, minding yo own business, maccin on these world known social networks like Tagged, Local Hook Upz, Friendster & even the AOL chat rooms. On ya NETZERO dial up swag, havin more than one window open with like 22 tabs 65% is of pages of different freak joints you plottin on?

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Shit, let me put ya own to one of my ongoing personally experience that never fails to come up son!
So im maccin in my crib, loggin onto my accounts seeing what’s really goody with some of this cyber love I’m in need of at the moment (mind you it’s like 2:54 am cause mom dukes asleep & aint ehem gone be on the phone). Anyway so i peep, i get this friend request from some bad joint & i mean BAD, bitch was probably mixed wit Black, Japanese, Hispanic + had the skin complexion of an eskimo. Word too, i would have literally eatin this girl out smh.

Ofcourse i accepted her with the quickness, “liked” like 4 of her pics, you kno the ones with the few likes on em & was less thirst trappish. You know i wanted to let her kno “I’m her for you & not the booty”. like 10 minutes later i get 9 likes back on my pics & a message from shawty like “yo you mad cute”, I’m like swerd iight, hit her wit the “good looks you a lil tenderoni yourself ma, wats good, how you”. Off rip she was on some whole notha freak shit, im like damn werd, nah shorty might be on some fake profile shit. So far she legit, so we exchange digits.
Shorty sent me a pic to my boost mobile, even tho the quality of her pic was iight i knew it was some crazy wild shit, so im like “yo damn ma where you from???”

bitch said “Glendale, Wisconsin”

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My nigga, i was so vexed like why the fuck all the thick freak joints that’s willin to get crazy wit the jaw game gotta live on the other side of the earth! I aint eem tryna reply back, you kno u done fucked up. I’m sittin behind my phone & computer screen like …..fuck this shit

Mavis Beacon. Making computer class suck since the 90’s

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I can almost hear the collective sigh of groans as you rehash on repressed memories of getting your day ruined by having to spend 45 minutes (which to us kids at the time felt like an eternity. Subsequently feeling the same as we’re waiting to clock out that dreaded 9-5) of what should of been “free time” playing ( I use that term loosely) educational typing games.

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Now, these games were SHITTTTTTTTTY BRUH!

You had to be some kinda smuck to appreciate what the games where intended to do for you and quite frankly I didnt go the best school so I was well versed on there being nipples SOMEWHERE on this fucking computer and it was sickening I couldnt find it.
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Hey kids, we know you just looooove racing games Right!? Well what we did was for you able to accelerate your car and win you must correctly spell all the words on the screen in a short amount of time!! Oh and theres no steering. Isn’t Learning fuuuuun!??

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Bruh..Sega and Nintendo was crushing the buildings at the time, im sonic-ing it up fucking up dr.robotnik with bitch ass tails trying to keep up with a nigga and you think this typing shit bout to entertain me!!!?

You couldn’t get me to follow along and play the games correctly. Oh great, for every word spelled correct I can become great at bagging groceries? Naaaa, I much rather fuck shit up and drop it on floor! ( Even then I knew I was too much of a real nigga for the fuck shit)

Im saying bruh.. computers where in its infant stage, we knew something was great about it but the bullshit school censors ruined that aura. You couldnt jus let a nigga rock out in some minesweeper?

Lil Romeo, bruh…You didnt go to USC to do commercials for ICDC college

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How u out chea gettin your Everest-man on?
Dun, jus a few years ago you was hoopin with Demar Derozen and your pops is MASTER FUCKIN P!!
Percy ‘Make em say uhhhhhh’ Miller bruh..

This is worst then tryin to undercut Mitchell&Ness with P.Miller throwbacks you never seen anybody wear in real life. Nigga if you gave me a P.Miller throwback jersey back when Fabolous was king Mitchell&Ness in every video and lil moe was semi attractive, we woulda been fighting cuz im taking that as disrespect.
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Son, id rather cop a 30 dollar Michelle&Ness throwback jersey from broadway with a created player from a time I couldnt varify the who’s who of the sports world before I wore a free P.Miller throwback, it’s THAT REAL.

You was better off just tryin to get the New no limit off the ground.

SO LIL ROMEY ROME, WHAT THE FUCK IS U DURRRIN!?

You cant possibly be hurting for money. I know Silk the shocker was allowed to fuck up every chance he got on classic records with his never on beat ass and C-murder court fees but last I heard Pops is bout to have his own TV Station, so whats the dealio?

You know you lamed out cuz they got u lookin all stiff and uncomfortable like when Wayne Brady takes his headshots and HE JUST KNOWS niggas is about to cut ass on his line up. Listening to the white man telling you to coon it up by performing for non-existant crowd is jus salt over the self ether.( sort of like your rap career)
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I mean you doing all this for the Maury( or “Murry” as the disenfranchised mufuckas like to pronounce it) and Jerry Springer circuit of viewers. You tryin to get niggas like me who are already down on their luck with no goals and aspirations to pay attention to some damn Internet college?
I done already disregarded the Everest and Devry commercials and they got semi-campuses( By campus, I mean basement of a project building with faulty AC)

Nigga im tryin to figure out if Rahlo the babyfather of Shay Shay’s 2 year old. I aint got no time to be hearing you chant “ICDC COLLEGE!” While I’m rollin up this skunk weed.

Sooo.. I can grab your @$$ in the club but I cant in the street?

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Soo…let me get this straight, said female is in the club poppin that monkey to lil mouse while im behind her doing the money dance. Jus got paid my weekly stipend of 120 dollas, so im bawse mood for the night, drinks are 3 dollars so im feeling pretty baller like, buying folks drinks, seen Allen Iverson in the cut gaming some chicks:
AI: so I looked at the nigga like Practice!? Cuz u know Homie dont play that!

With his durag on tilt, pockets empty, slide him a michelob light( the drink of the peasants) and as im feeling myself, I slap chick on the ass.(Was prepared to blame it on the molly)
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Heyyyyyy she still grinding on the beef!!?
Slaps again….
And again……
And again…
Wepaaaaaaaaa
This.Night.Is.AWESOME.

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Next day, I see the same chick on the street. Woke up with a fuck-nigga stuy on my eye and about 30 dollars lighter, so swag was on timid but she recognized a young thug. We were choppin it up about last night and I was tellin her how I was having the time of my life and we should link up again and as I said my goodbyes, i palmed her ass like the thirst nigga I am and proceeded to get violated:

Chick: aye nigga fuck is yo prolem cuh 
(Heres where I forget to mention she is from compton)
Me: na I thought..
C: You thought wrong patna, I dont get down like that! You must got me fucked up with these other bitches, you treat me like lady! You dont know me like that!

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Aint..this…bouttabitch!
So I coulda damn near finger loved u in the club but in the street we gon act hollier than thou!!?

But..but…but
Gimme the damn logic in that ladies?

Im jus as respectful as Kirk ‘porn addict’ Franklin but if u giving a brotha the leeway im alllll in like poker. How you gon be a freak in the club but not in the street!?
Be all the way authentic, dont try to paint ME as a creep when im jus goin off what you gave me?

Soo whats the difference between the random nigga grabbing you up in a club and that same nigga trying it outside? Why could he get arrested in one situation but dapped up in the next?

The music? Club environment? Ohh my bad you gon jamie foxx it and blame it on the henny huh?

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Lets be consistent booboo..