Monthly Archives: July 2013

Shaqfacing the Industry: Lurkavelli


Here at Shaqface we like to do things a bit different. I’ve been checking out the blog scene lately and it seems as if they’ve become the stamp of approval for up and coming artist who send and send and send links all over the interwebs hoping to land on these sites for exposure. Usually when a site picks em up, it comes with a link of the song and short lil bio on the artist, in which the artist wrote and the site cares nothing about.

But really..who the fuck are you? Why should I listen when there’s a thousand other artist to choose from, plus my old 90s shit I cant get out my tape decks. Fuck that…I wanna know who u are, why you’re in my face and why shouldn’t I shaqface you in the process.

So I’ve decided to stop being a grump and Shine light on some up and coming artist, bubbling in the streets and social media to see what they’re bout. Our first being Lurkavelli.

Lurkavelli??..Thats a peculiar name bruh, whats the science on that?

lol, Lurkavelli aka R. Velli aka KING ABs.
Lurkavelli my stage name & its a piece of my team New Lurk City. NLC is a collective of artist, graphic designers and more. Started around 2009. Being lurkers, we’ve pretty much set the trends of this whole lurkin thing, switching up the meaning a tad bit. I just wanted to put it out there I’m great, kind of like tupac took Machiavelli but switch it up alil, I just pretty much did the same.

S: Ok ok I can dig it. It’s 2013 bruh, mad shit to do in life..why rap?

L: I mean shit why not? A nigga from the Lower East Side of NYC with a few things to say, gotta eat too right? I mean I could be on my real philosophical shit & write a book bout my everyday life, but what I look like?? A 54 year old white woman? Hahaha nah honestly, I do it for the love. I enjoy making music. There’s times I woud stop & be like chill.. I ain’t doing music no more, but something brings me back to it. I’ont know the game needs me.

S:..So you sayin if you never made a dollar from this you’ll be iight? Shaqface meter activated.

L: If one of my other hustles is getting me paid well, I honestly wouldn’t care, but if I gravitate a large fanbase who come to my shows, then that’s different. Moms told me if you good at what you do & multiple people like it, don’t do it or free. But i’ll honestly just get paid off shows cause of entertainment. Im entertaining people, they wanna see me in real life rare form. So if i’m traveling to places that I would have to pay out my own pockets to travel to, shit.. I would like that back cause the peope wanna see me. (I feel like I contradicted myself multiple times in this answer but it’s all good, I know what I mean hahha)

S: Yea cuz you lost me but im sure it’s some real shit haha.

You mentioned you hail from the Lower East Side. It’s desert dick out there in terms of the music scene. The most notable to come out of the LES was Tru-Life and tho a decent rapper, wasn’t quite able to put the town on his back, even with the Jay-z cosign. Why hasn’t the world quite embraced yall rap cats from out there? Are yall jus straight ass juice on the mic or is there a bigger reasoning?

L: Hahha damn. Shit I dead don’t know. Probably we’re just all wack or niggas was like “Alright guys we’re going to give ya’ll a chance, don’t fuck this shit up! we’re prepared to give a guy from your area a JAY-Z cosign”. I guess Tru aint handle the ball right. Shit I don’t even know the guy situation, I just know he got locked up.
Another reason maybe, niggas think that because we’re right next to soho, we were all born with a silver spoon in our mouths and all this gentrification just adds on to people’s ridiculous assumptions.  I’ont know, but then again.. we probably are just wack hahaha

L: Haha. I mean  Staten Island aint even recognized as a borough yet get more love in the game. I know yall be salty as fuck when it be shout out time in the club and Jersey will get shouted before the LES. Yall MIGHT get the look if its a spanish DJ but hey..You’re here to change the perception or jus get shaqfaced in the process. So lets get into the Music. What you doing outchea musically?

L: Yooo you stupid hahaha, son I hate that. DJ’s in the club be like:

Shout out BK! Queens! BX borough! Staten Island! and we can’t forget HARLEM!

Like harlem aint no damn borough my guy. I’ll be happy if they say Manhattan but shit I guess niggas ain’t working hard enough. But to your question I honesty wanna start my own label and put the LES on the map fam. Doing shows and blessing people’s ears with these very potent lyrics, I guess. Right now i’m gettin ready to release an EP/mixtape, no more than 6 or 7 tracks, not includin skits outros and an intro. It’s going to be dope, mess with it. It’s gone be free.. I know niggas like free shit.

S: Thats wassup. So you’ve been bubbling a bit wit your new record “Keep ya circle tight” I usually tell my ratchets this shit or ill black they eye but u spoke on whats real in the field. These friend or foe sometimey ass niggas that claim to be ya boys but really aint down witcha when shit hit the fan. It’s a pretty tough record I must say. Very visually appealing, beat is ill and hook is on the money. Tell us the thought process before making the track? Somebody fucked ya girl b? You share dat?

L: Haahahha, good looks fam. Well I was sent the beat from my producer Young Bodybag probably like a month early before the release. He kept hittin me up like, Yo you got something? I was frontin like, yea I got some heat… I ain’t have shit for it. A nigga caught writers block, ya boy was stressed. Then all of a sudden on my block a big cocaine ring bust happened. Shit was crazy! I just thought to myself, like yo alot of niggas in the LES get locked because their own mans or someone from another block call the cops on them, so I took that and the whole cocaine ring situation + my life and mixed it all in one for the track. I went to the stu that weekend, laid the track down and went home. My boy sent me the track back later with the news reporting the incident added to it. I was like damn! this shit fire.

S: Damn.. I see the D.A.R.E program aint shouting yall niggas out in the club either b.

L: Hahhahha word yo, shit crazy. blew my mind.

S: Shake that ass for a lurk pass? Da fuq? Explain that record to me.

L: Hahahhahahahahha yo man, I was havin fun. My guy was recording his track and there was stilll time, so I did what I did. shit was live tho, everybody was feelin it for what it was. Caught bodies off that record and got a fanbase started off that. Hahahha people still shout out the lyrics to me and all these “rappers” wanted to jump on the remix (Still unreleased). Let me live fam hahahah.

S: I can dig it fam, def gettin the ratchet’s ratchet out here. I salute. So what the rest of this year looking like, what should we expect?

L: Right now, I re-recorded this track ‘Last Train In New York Pt.1 and now in the process of shooting the video for it. It’s going to be real dope, real appealing to your eyes. If you’re a dude or a lesbian of some sort, theres lots of booty. Its going to be dope, trust me. I’m directing it (direct all my vids), plus I got shows now. People hitting me up crazy. Then I got this EP to release. Shit going good, just tryna stay and keep things positive. All i gotta say is New Lurk City x GoldStandard Industires for 2013-14-15 and all these years to come!

S: Dope, salute bruh. Aye one last question..

Meagan good


Bria Myles?

L: Way back I would of chose Good but this Myles chick daaaaaaayyum my guy, i had to google her right quick and was NOT upset. Damn shawty looking like she was handcrafted by the finest godiva chocolate, damn she fine I’d literally eat her up.

If you like what you’ve heard or read and want more Lurkavelli:

IG – king_abs



Somebody needs to tell Amanda Bynes, Harlem Hospital giving Beds out!


In the latest installment of Amandas Bynes wacky world of fun, she was caught setting fire to a neighbors driveway for no apparent reason and has been thrown into rehab center.
In Desperate need of an intervention her family contacted the very best in the business at dealing with such cases, breaking down the flaws they’ve possessed, in hopes of building back up a stronger, more productive member of society..

Dr. Loaded Lux


Tho this meeting has been kept under wraps , due to the highly publicised nature of the case, here at Shaqface we’ve obtained the transcripts between the two and I must say, in True Lux fashion, he Gave Amanda Bynes THAT WORK!

Loaded Lux: Beloved Amanda…im here today to get you through troubling times. A life in lime has resulted in a life of crime..
Babygirl, you see that casket out? Thats gon be ya casting couch, that will cast the amount of life spent on this here Earth.. if you dont see whats all the laughter about.

YOU WAS ON NICK! now u smoking on reggie?…Ayo let me holla at Nick and see if he can write you a severance

Cuz you gon need it, especially for my payment, or the pavement is what you lay in. Since your actions show ya parents never gave you a grounding.

Ohh im non violent…..

What the fuck wrong with you?, you got white skin, white priviledge. Heard you aint got no shower curtains…. You mean to tell me ya ass willingly stepped out to a slope thats soo slippery!?? Got to be kidding me, look at the large picture, YOUR PUSSY AINT GOLDEN, IT’S JUST ANOTHER LOST KITTEN!!

So im here for the lost..prevention, to exhaust this engine, brought by lies and false intentions..they gassed you…YOUR PUSSY AINT GOLDEN, IT’S JUST ANOTHER LOST..KITTEN!

As a youngin you’ve been a provider, along the way you lost sight of the prize, Must of never had a real pops in ya life if you was gon let DRAKE slide inside..
And he shakey hand dismissed you, never even gave u back a tweet, you was lookin worse than Murda Mook smoking a bogie from a crack feins feet!


But Im Just showing you the LARGE PICTURE

You need to stand up tall, take some calcium pills. Replace friends with meals, or you’ll be as close to the graveyard barely alive… Jae Millz

To be a good barber, you gotta be alil gay?


Im sayin tho atleeeeast 5%..

Your occupation is to make niggas look good for a living…
You’re clientel is built off the recognition of your taper fades dun.
U gotta make niggas pretty mufuckas or they not coming back and your career as a barber will be spent in the front of the store looking out the window disgruntled as fuck,tryin to catch one times (First time you cut their hair, will be the last time!)
So you really gotta give a muthaFUCK about what you’re doing.

Now see, I couldnt be a barber cuz a hating ass nigga like myself would be zeekin niggas left and right! Giving niggas the straight “Damn now i gotta wear a hat or explain this to everybody” edge up. Just straight mediocrity across the board and plus we all know the hoes love the fresh line up. I love hoes, so I zeek you = mo hoes fo me!


Ima Genius wit the mathematics bruh.

And ive weighed the negative side….

and decided I can potentially take a punch or two to the face for my endeavers.

But also after 5pm im not tryna be around niggas no more so id be dippen out early. NA you cant reserve a time, NO i wont let you skip the line and if you pop in and say you coming back ..welll u just gon comeback and wait like the rest.

Basically my real nigga meter wont allow me to be a barber (It also wont allow me to wife a single mother and stay around for my newborns).

But why?
Ever thought to ask your barber…. Aye,why the fuck is you a barber?
Bet you gon hear some shit u really didnt need to be hearing…