Now i know for most young bruhs and bruhzettes its finally time to kiss the hood goodbye. Summer is over and its your first semester in a crappy community college majoring in some shit you prolly wont benefit from once you graduate.
Now if your like me, a typical real nigga, you may not be well prepared for the challenges being unsupervised for the first time will bring.
(Ample time to beat off and white people for example)
Thankfully im here to guide you with 6 things YOU MUST learn to become the Don Catagena of this school shit.
1. These hoes don’t love you dawg.
Dun last thing you need to be doing is looking for love in college. Dudes often time get gassed off a shorty droppin that snack pack on they head within a few days of meeting her and get the game fucked up.
“Na b, she really likes me”
You’ll be in a world of drake emotions once you realize your love at first sight was really just lust on her end and after that 3 minute encounter she is already on to the next. Dont say i didnt warn yo puke ass when you see her hugged up wit the next fool.
Bruhhhhhhh its MAGIC MONEY!! Dont worry about where the fuck it comes from or how it will hurt u in the long run.
You need the new Jay’s? GET EM!
Xbox one or Ps4? Cop BOTH!
Ball on these fuck niggas while being a fuck nigga in the process! This will prolly be your first and last time having stacks at your disposal.
Gon nigga, BE GREAT!
3. Don’t make your dorm room the “hot spot”.
Now i know at first it sounds like a great idea, Party 24/7 and become mister popular in the process! …No!
Bruh let me tell you why this no bueno..
Not every hour is party hour, You gon be maaad when u wanna come home from a long day and relax and you open your door to a bunch of stink muthafuckas playing Call of duty and FIFA.
Also you becoming mister popular means the hoes aint gon wan fuck with you “but but i thought that would attract the hoes?”
Naa bruh, by now you’ll have a rep as a party animal/player. No self respecting chick gon wanna be caught dead in ya room due to the stigma involved wit dealing wit you. Best bet is too stay low cuh..
4. Don’t cop weed from the shady black dude on campus.
This campus drug dealing nigga gon beat you in the head fam. Yea they got that good but niggas factor that long ass trip from the city to the campus into their prices. Coppin Dimes going for 20, 20sacs for $50, PLUS will lie about what they got. Last thing you wanna be is high AND disappointed with the amount of money you coulda saved if you was back home. Them ramen noodles aint woah. Becareful tho, this wave of thinking may make you ponder becoming campus drug dealing nigga.
Fuck with them homegrown white folk selling dat Mid. Yeaa it aint the best but it aint as expensive and you get more bang for ya buck. Fuck all that trying to smoke like a rapper shit. Weed is weed. Get high and shut the fuck up!
5. Stay away from keystone light and Bartons vodka!
Bruh bruh DONT DO IT! You WILL get worldstar’ed outchere with no fucks given. You wanna be humiliated beyond your wildest imagination anddd not even remember a thing?
I didnt think so..
Now i kno practicing proper judgement at 18 is hard as fuck to do but if you MUST drink let it be by some quality shit. Im sure it sounded like a great idea to play beer pong with shots of 151 before you realized your hand eye coordination wasnt up to par.
Mannn what can i say… Your gon run into the ones who play world of warcraft all day, dont flush toilets, leave hair every fuckin place and use miracle whip.
You’re also gon run into the cool as fuck, smoke you up, play beer pong with, cant dance for shit but stay wit them slores, slightly gay joking (Homie dont play that shit tho! You aint bout to draw a penis on MY face) white folk.
Going through these experiences will in return make you a better individual. They say 90% of what you learn will be outside the classroom, so dont jus stay wit one pocket of friends. Move around, you may never know the benefit of these connections until years later!
Now that you soaked up game, go out and do ya thing with confidence of a fuckin soldier! Jus remember to strap up. Dont be outchere catching da drips! It wont be good for your aura.