Monthly Archives: November 2016

N.O.M.E 6 Review

Bruh…. this post is going to be long like this event.
Ok so let me say this, A nigga been rockin wit Smack since the first dvd dropped and introduced battle rap to the world. Back when Mook was running shit, T rex was biting niggas heads off and loaded Lux was Ruthless.(lux beat mook at the knock off jersey spot, idc, idc! GAWD HEAD!)

Ive always been a fan of the sport but as the popularity began to explode from the streets to huge sponsored events leading to some rappers getting paid upwards of 40k for 3 rounds it was just too much going on and i fell off on all the who’s who of the battle rap world.

With that being said, i did still watch battles from time to time and while i heard this would be potentially the biggest event of the year i just had to finally check one out and it was….an experience.

So first off, having never gon to a smack/url event the ticket time said 1pm so i thought 11:30 would be a good time to show up and be around the first people in line cuz niggas will always nig and show up late..

Maannnnn when i tell you that line was already around the damn block i was disgusted with myself as i took the walk of shame to the back..

Until…..

I heard a nigga call out my name! it was a old homie of mines and i went to dap him up and slid in with him around the middle of the line so i was gucci!!! im not sure if niggas felt a way but fuck it.

So now im in the midst of battle rap fans, some were battle rap historians with a roledex of knowledge of every damn battle to have ever taken place. it  was admirable to see how dedicated some really were to the battle rap culture and i realized… well i didnt know shit bout shit!

So as we waiting around for the doors to open up, cameras keep coming around asking battle of the year? Who the best? etc and my best answer was to just shut the fuck up and let the real watchers of the sport answer. Im not bout to make myself look like  a fool in front of these purist.

So its 1pm and SHOWTIME!

EXCEPT

I learned smack likes to be on real nigga time and for my white readers out there, it means LATE NIGGA…..REAL FUCKIN LATE.!!!

DUN..

So we walk in to irving plaza about 1:15pm or so after a crazy as search from ths nypd and immediately do two things. bathroom and drinks. in that order, as i was told to do so by battle event pros. So i come back, get a good spot up front cause crowd wasnt too thick and i start sippen waiting for the first battle….

So now its about 2pm Queenzflip and Jay blac are entertaining the crowd basically tryin to kill time until event starts. It was cool for the first oh, 30 minutes…..

2 and half fuckin hrs later and still no battle!

Bruh…my feet hurting already cuz i was rockin baggy timbs. (which flip tried to cut my ass about but i hit him back with a lil 1 2 cuz im not afraid of the roast!) crowd is getting a bit restless and bored and begin booing for the start. So now im having doubts about ever coming to another event..

So finally at 4 fuckin pm Smack comes out in a toddler size leather coat walking around the stage like he got a wooden peg leg, smiidddddiiiacking all over and the crowd gets hype and the first battle of the night begins,

  Ill Will vs Charlie Clips

Now, im a huge fan of charlie clips since mad cipha days rhyming alongside Jae Millz and Vado as members of  Most Hated. Having watched his battles in the past, while he could easily kill niggas he had recently become hit or miss due to hunger not being there. I thought to myself, Clips is def gon bring it for the Biggest event of the year….right?

ANNNNNNNND i was wrong….again smfh

Nigga was lackluster like a muuuuuufucka. freestyling and stumbling damn near each round. I was disgusted to be honest man, he clearly doesnt give a fuck no more now that he getting wildin out checks. Ill Will, i didnt know too much about other than him battling some nigga with a tongue ring but he KILLED  THAT NIGGA CLIPS. Nigga said, “why guess what room you in when i can blow the whole house up!?

MEAN

3-0 Ill Will

Iigh so after the first battle smack is rushing to the next joint which was :

Tsu Surf vs T-Top 

Surf coming off a string of chokes and Ls had something to prove as he was shaking the room his first round, claiming he was back and we all believed it. T-Top comes after and its lookin like a classic after the first round. Even 2nd round they both were sluggin and the crowd was rockin…then surfs 3rd happen and this nigga deadass chokes again smh. Wasnt a bad battle but surf ruined the classic potential.

2-1 Top

 Next up: Arsonal vs Brizz Rawsteen 

Battle for the most ignorant battle rapper of the world b…

I knew of Ars but i had never seen brizz battle before but the crowd was tellin me i was in for a good one and they wasnt lying. first Ars gon start the round sayin he was retiring tryin to get petty applause from the crowd cuz he must knew he was going to spit struggle bars smh.

Brizz was basically Ars 2.0 as he was..

This..nigga..brizz said,” ill fuck ya mother in the ass and make HER lick it off!”

Nigga 30ed Ars as he fades off into the sunset and into url retirement. Tho, he may not like the way he was sent out and probably will return sometime after he re- evaluates his greens, beans, tomatoe, potato bars.( No…like..he really tried that shit and after an awkward silence his soul burned)

Ok  so after that we had ..

THE BATTLE OF THE FUCKIN NIGHT: CHESS VS AVE 

NIGGA…

Whats to be said about this battle that hasnt been said already?  It was a surprise battle due to the uncertainty of daylyt showing up for his battle against DNA. Which, he didnt smh..

But fuck all that, thank you for not showing up cuz…

This….shit…right here nigga!? 

Wow…. just…wow.

 This was Micky Ward vs Arturo Gatti. Just a slugfest! 

I think i passed out twice from bar overload and cried during Aves Skip to my lou bar. Chess makes you want to go into the nearest projects and piss in the elevator and watch as an unsuspecting tenant steps in that shit. STRAIGHT FILTH.

 We was watching history and single handedly made up for all the previous bullshit of the night. Deciding a winner would be doing this battle an injustice. Chess won, Ave won and more importantly, the fans won. This battle made me forget i tore my acl and mcl in both legs during the event and cant wait to see it on cam. 

“MAIN EVENT” RUM NITTY VS TAY ROC

Shit was wack b, niggas fighting, the energy was gone, my kneecaps were about to buckle, crowd was restless, niggas fought some more, somebody won but nobody gives a shit.

So for my first url event, im not sure if ill go to another one but it was def a memorable time and glad i got to experience it. Im still icing my knees and lower back on some Patrick Ewing shit tryin to recover.
Smiiiddddddaack!

IM GOING BALD BREH!

‚Äč

 

So first and foremost, i know, i know a brother been away for few joints now and i may have had ya wondering like what the hell happen to shaqface? Some of ya prolly like who or wtf is a shaqface? I dropped the ball and for that, My bad bruh and bruhzettes.

But shit happens nigga…..Bruh pen game was on larry holmes status for a while. And now the hair is following suit…
Cuh ..

The young adonis is catching an unforgiveable L bruh. The George jeff is starting to invade my cerebellum and i cant do nothing right now but

  

Im hurt…..nigga swag levels droppin with every hair follicle lost

Smh the lucious waves starting to look like the big homie Moses came thru parting the sea and shit. Got me contemplating transplating pubes to the top of the dome ,smelling like ass and defeat smh. But shit if lebron cant find the cure,there aint no hope for a broke nigga so it is what it is…

You know, im a fairly confident gangsta (Even with the white man tellin me i cant move up out the mailroom. So ima move this mail while i fuck his wife)  so at first when somebody mentioned i was balding, At the time im playin it to the left like ahhhh fuck outta here  it aint nothin but alil kevin durant going on, ill be iigh its just my wave pattern na mean

(Sidenote but White dude lookin at durant like “yea..you dunk that ball nigger” or am i trippen?)

Till i found out out it was worse then i thought..

First off fuck whoever invented portable mirrors tho forreal cuz yall helped facilitate the ether…
So i decided to check it out.  Standing at my bathroom mirror, turnt around and i begin viewing my male pattern baldness through a lil ass mirror Like…

HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN WALKIN ROUND WITH THE GINOBLI!!? 

So immediately, I jump online to backpage  hair loss sites tryin to find a cure. lookin at reviews for all these miracle hair loss sprays and cremes refusing to accept the inevitable. 

For some, the bald head works but naa bruh i aint got the head for it. A nigga out here lookin like J.B smoove aint woah bruh. Smh shit gon kill my clubbin on college nights. I cant be the balding nigga in the club trying to trap a young 20 year old scuzzy no mo.

 So after a few weeks and a stack dropped on hoes  products that didnt work i decided, fuck it. im not gon shave but im not gon worry bout it either. I cant allow the foolishness that was sprayed on Carlos Boozer’s scape to invade my cipher.

 I’ve come to the realization that the gawd is indeed mortal afterall and im rocking to the wheels fall off. Its coo doe cus ill still  slap the kufi off ya niggas who got jokes b.

Salute to the OGs like coolio who aint afraid to say its not over yet. 

We all we got and hopefully more post to come.